Silver Lace
by Ash Night
Summary: What is true love? How long can it last? Can it truly conquer and triumph over everthing? Can it outstand death? (D/H, resubmitted because of a mass revision process)
1. Title Page

Silver Lace

By Ash Night

Disclaimer: All is owned by J.K. Rowling, except for the plot and everything you don't seem to recognize.


	2. Prologue: Capture

Prologue

Capture

~~~~

There is always doubts, regrets, and misunderstandings in a relationship. Love can be a strange and exciting thing, but is it worth it for the troubles that accompany it. What is true love? How long does it last? Does it surpass everything of value? Can it surpass death? 


	3. Chapter 1: The Fall

Chapter 1

The Fall

~~~~

The dim light casts long shadows on objects. I sigh, not quite interested in what Ginny is telling me. I twirl a strand of brown hair between my fingers. I breathe relaxing breaths waiting for nothing in particular. I give a glance at the entrance. 

A tall man with silver blonde hair enters. At first, nothing strikes me, but I finally realize who he is. There is no doubt denying the similarities between him and his father. The volume of the bar decreases slightly at his arrival. 

My jaw drops slightly, I close it quickly. It has been years since I've seen him. He's changed, but not by much. The air of importance still clings to him. I can feel it even from where I am. He seems to have noticed my gaze because he turns to my direction. 

I quickly lower my view. Ginny begins to say something, but I hear nothing. It is as though, I'm blocking out the world for a few moments. I feel his eyes linger over me. I breathe a sigh of relief when he looks away and begins to walk over to the bar. From the corner of my eye, I stare at him, studying him, soaking in the almost magnificent radiance.

His blonde hair is a youthful pale yellow. One might mistake it for white. He is tall and well built. I bite my lip as I realize that he's handsome.

"Hermione!" Ginny says, waving a hand in front of my eyes.

I snap my attention to her. "What?" I ask exasperated. 

"Are you alright?" she asks. There was a tinge of concern plastered on her face. 

I finally notice that my heart is fluttering. A strange ache settles at the bottom of my heart. My breathing is deep. My mind is flooded with thoughts.

"Hermione?" she says my name again, looking at me, trying to figure out what is wrong. 

"I think, I'll go now." My voice is weak. I feel uncomfortably pale. I barely notice her as I walk past and out of the bar.

~~~~

I reflect back to the moment. She is simply stunning. Her hair is long and slightly waved. Her eyes, bright and lost deep in thought. 

Suddenly, I realize my own thoughts. All my life, I have been warned against them and now look at yourself. I shake the thoughts away reluctantly. 

The air around me is cold and frigid, but the glowing fire radiates a soothing warmth over me. I frown and reflect upon my life, so much, yet so little. The bitter irony snaps with its sharp teeth at me. I frown, irritated. 

I ponder about something I have rarely touched upon before. Have I really ever been loved? Could I be? The questions are slightly discouraging, but nothing in life is easy. Aggravated, I lean back into the chair forgetting about everything. Knowing that I need to escape to a sacred refuge, I close my eyes.

~~~~


	4. Chapter 2: Drowning

Chapter 2 

Drowning

~~~~

_The moon contrasts greatly against the midnight blue of the night sky. A slight breeze flows over me, ruffling my brown hair. I glance down at the world beneath me. The lake is like a stream of darkness with a reflection of the moon. _

_My hands touch the cold stone of the railing. I close my eyes allowing the night air to engulf me. A sense of anticipation rests inside. I run my hands on the cold stone of the railing, looking up at the sky with hopeful eyes, knowing I am believing in a lie._

I awake suddenly gasping for breath. I sense my heart beating rapidly. The dream itself was not terrifying, but the emotion it reveals is crushing to the deepest of depths. I clasp at the sheets waiting for the chilling feeling of my dream to leave. The sharpness of them dampens slightly.

I've been having this dream for nights now. It's always the same, nothing ever changes. The unanswered questions continuously arise more. I can't live like this, knowing that every time I close my eyes, a cryptic dream will scream through my mind. 

My breathing slows down and I let go of the sheets. I close my eyes. When will this ever go away?

~~~~

I glance out the window. A few small snowflakes drift gracefully to the hard ground. Winter is a cold, empty season for the unloved. Staring out for only a few more short moments, I suddenly close the red velvet curtains. I take in a deep breath. Something managed to stir my emotions. 

I walk away from the window. A sense of insecurity flows around me like a river of energy. Drowning, drowning, in loneliness, drowning. Always drowning… with no end in sight.

~~~~


	5. Chapter 3: Anticipation

Chapter 3

Anticipation 

~~~~

I am extremely tense, a rack of nerves more rather. I fidget slightly, twirling the pencil between my fingers. It's as though he'll walk in at any moment. Every few moments, my eyes dart to the entrance, expecting his tall figure to stride in, but the scene never happens. I feel slightly agitated as though I'm expecting something that I know will never happen.

"Hermione?" 

"Yes?" I answer automatically.

"Are you okay?" Harry asks me.

I glare at him with a dash of anger in my eyes. I look away from him and back to the door again. This time, I seem to be mesmerized. The anxiety rises, and my breathing deepens in response. Everything seems to be a blur of incoherent pictures. In a trance, I wait.

"Hermione!" 

"What?" I ask absentmindedly. 

"Something's wrong," he says slowly, looking at me with kind green eyes.

"Nothing is. I have to go," I say, exasperated. Though I feel slightly guilty, I grab my things and throw the cloak around me. I walk out of the bar hastily. I bump into someone, but I don't care enough to find out who.

~~~~

I turn around suddenly, Hermione. I stare after her, having a sudden urge to bite my lower lip, but I refrain from doing so. I stand there, wondering whether to go in or not. Someone brushes past me. He ignores me and runs off after her. I frown slightly, what is Potter doing here?

~~~~

I hear him calling my name, repeatedly. I cringe, but continue to walk away. I hear his footsteps on the cobbled road, closer and closer. My breathing quickens and my heart follows accordingly. 

I feel his hand grabbing my arm. Unexpected and unexplained tears line the rims of my eyes. I spin around, forcing myself to face him.

"Hermione!" he says, catching his breath. He holds my arm tightly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I say softly, ashamed of the truth.

"Is it me?" he asks softly. There is a tone of concern in his voice.

I shake my head.

He doesn't say anything. Standing there, he is defeated.

I walk away. The chilling wind tosses my hair. An odd and disturbing sense of satisfaction lingers. What is wrong with you? Nothing, I think back. Something is wrong and you know it. I know. It's Malfoy, isn't it? I don't answer back, knowing the answer already, but not wanting to admit it. 

The truth still stands. I cannot deny the feelings I have for him, can I? You can't run from the truth. The anxiety of the day blurs my vision with tears. Thoughts I have been trying to put off come back to haunt me. My emotions stir uncontrollably.

A sense of loneliness runs through me. Why did I deny his company when I need it the most? I sigh bitterly. You're alone now. You could've told him, but you didn't did you? I couldn't tell him, I reply desperately. This is Malfoy, he wouldn't understand.

I stop walking, hardly able to contain myself. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around. Not caring who or the consequences, I begin to sob into his shoulder. The only other thing I remember before my reality fades was his warm arms around me.

~~~~


	6. Chapter 4: Dreams and Realizations

Chapter 4

Dreams and Realizations

~~~~

_The cold breeze chills me. The bright moon casts its own shadows. I keep looking up; tears begin to build up. An ache rises in me. I close my eyes. The tears trickle down my face like small streams of water. I force myself to open my eyes._

_This time is desperate. I look back up to the sky, gazing for an unknown amount of time. The moon begins to fade away as clouds of gray move in, blocking the eerie light. A feeling uncertainty and a reminder of my futile attempts settle down uncomfortably. I have nothing left to do. Where are you? _

I open my eyes. It was the same dream, except it was slightly longer. The emotions that accompany it take a hold of me, controlling me. I curl up in a tight ball, wiping away fresh tears. 

I freeze suddenly, realizing the unusual covers and sheets. This is not my bed. I look up and glance around in horror. This is not my room either. Where am I? My breathing quickens. Alone, in an unknown place. 

Quickly and instinctively, I look for my things. I am still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. My cloak hangs lazily over a chair. My things are stacked neatly and orderly on the desk. A pile of fresh clothes is also nearby. I breathe a sigh of relief, at least I am not being held as a prisoner or hostage. Though who would hold me? And if I were, who would rescue the fair maiden in the distantly possible reality? Where was Prince Charming? 

Shaking away the thoughts, I push the covers away and jump down onto the floor. Cold, the frigid temperature of the polished wood sends chills up my spine. I wince involuntarily. I quickly change out of my clothes and into the new ones. Surprisingly, they fit me perfectly. 

The dress is a deep midnight blue that hugs to the contours of my body. It has a low back and a deep neckline with no sleeves. It is a bit too revealing for my tastes, but I accepted it gratefully. The fabric is of a silky material that slides away from your fingers. Whoever has brought me here is clearly rich with quite a bit to spare. 

I twirl once or twice around the mirror, satisfied with my appearance. I shiver slightly at the thought of leaving this room. I bite my lip. Walking towards the door, I open it, pondering whether to find the one whom brought me here. Finally, my thirst for answers conquers the possible consequences of my actions. I walk out, closing the door carefully behind me. 

~~~~

What were you thinking Draco Malfoy? What happened to all those years? All those years, I've never been in love. Love is such a foreign thing. Years, I have been locked behind a façade of coldness and cruelty, but that was how it was in my world. Never show your feelings because they can betray you.

I sigh deeply, staring into the fire. It glows with brilliant sparks of red, orange and yellow. It dances on top of the wood, full of life. Freedom, can anyone actually be free? The rules of society, of which we have created, bind us in the web of annoyance and disappointment. 

I reflect back.

I stand there, stunned. Hermione crying onto my shoulder. She's such a pathetic and pitiful sight. I cringe slightly wondering what is bothering her. I put my arms around her, holding her, possibly showing her the kindness and affection I want to be shown. I close my eyes. This isn't happening, it's a dream, denying everything. I open them again, relieved that she hasn't disappeared like so many others. Her sobs softens into sniffling, but by what is a mystery.

I know no comforting words to whisper in her ear. I hold her against me. Her small figure seems to mold against mine. I feel her shiver slightly. A few brief moments passes. She suddenly becomes extraordinarily quiet. I look down at her, alarmed. Letting out a deep sigh, I realize that she is asleep. Why would and how can anyone fall asleep that quickly? 

I can't leave her here. The question flashes across my mind for a brief moment, before I accept, willingly.

I turn at the soft footsteps down the halls. I freeze for a few moments listening to the careful and timid footsteps. I take a deep breath, after realizing that it is probably Hermione. I lay back in my chair, ignoring the sounds. Staring off at the burning flames, I sigh again.

Finally, her footsteps are too close that I can't help, but to take notice. Each step gets steadily louder. Suddenly, the footsteps stop. I hold my breath knowing who she is. She doesn't know who I am. I can use that to my advantage, but should I?

"Who are you?" Her voice echoes through the massive library. Her tone is not irritated, but typically curious. 

"Why do you want to know?" I bite my lip as soon as the cold words exit my mouth. Why do you care so much? I think to myself in a scolding fashion.

She makes no reply. 

I stand up and turn around to look at her.

~~~~

I feel pale. I look at him, trying to convince myself that he isn't real, but to my disappointment, it is. My heartbeat quickens because of the heavy and suffocating tension between us.

His hair is slightly tousled, as though he hasn't had much sleep. His gray eyes stare at me with such intensity I can feel it. He wears clothes of black that contrast greatly against his pale skin and blonde hair, but it oddly suits him… and he looks rather nice in them. Damn, I give myself a quick mental scold.

We share this special moment in complete silence. Feeling faint as he examines me, I wonder what is racing through his mind. Is he thinking about me? Of course he is. What else would he be thinking about? Biting my lip, I hope that the his thoughts aren't horrible ones.

He is the one. He is the one that has brought me here. Though the reasons are still undetermined, a part of me is grateful that it is he, but the other half wonders what his intentions are now. You want him, don't you? No, no, I don't, I deny silently. You cannot deny it longer. 

My breath quickens with a sharp edge because of the frigid air surrounding me, although there is a fire. I have an odd thought that it isn't quite the temperature that is causing the coldness. 

His eyes never leave me. Who will be the first one to make a move? Who is brave enough? Who will be the first to break? Who will be the one?

~~~~

I walk towards her, pulled by a tempting force. She stands perfectly still, staring at me with her beautiful brown eyes. I stop as I reach her. Looking down, I feel the energy and heat between us and I am fairly certain that she does too. Gazing into her eyes, I see a quick flicker of fear. 

I have a sudden urge to kiss her, but my years of control wouldn't allow me. I give her one last look before walking away.

~~~~

He leaves me. 

I am left with nothing to do. I give him one last and longing glance before walking back to "my" room. I open the door and smile slightly. There's a crackling fire. A feeling of warmth drifts over me like a soothing bath. I sigh. 

I sit onto the bed. My feelings mix and tumble together. I lean back with the pillow comforting my head. Staring up at the high ceiling, I relive the moment, savoring the vivid images, and emotions.

I see him walking towards me. I feel the dreaded pang of fear. I thought I knew him years ago, but now, I'm not so sure. Maybe he is still the same cruel boy who used to tease and taunt me. Maybe my mind is playing illusions on my heart. The only thing that keeps me from screaming is the possibility that it could be real. 

My heart quickens. Though every animal instinct in my body is urging me to run, I don't. I just stand there, mesmerized, watching him in a way a rabbit watches a wolf. He's inches from me now. I look up at him. Those familiar lonely gray eyes look down. I see a small flicker of something behind them, but it is gone before I can have a closer look.

He's so close. I can hear his steady heat beating, and feel his breath moving my hair. Every nerve in my body tenses in anticipation. A sudden vision of him kissing me flows into my mind, but it is interrupted by his turn. He leaves me.

I grimace because of the emptiness in result of the scene. Lowering my view, I stare at my hand. No jewel adorns my ring finger. A sense of sadness and lonely desperation enters. An uncertain feeling of an internal struggle sinks in. A few unshed tears rises to my eyes.

~~~~

The still night haunts me. The world is silent. The moon, gone. I look up at the dark sky. A glum sense overtakes me. He's gone, like the moon. I let him go. Why did I let him go? I lied to him and myself. Now, my misery is my own fault

I bend over the stone that prevents me from falling. My hair obscures my vision. The ground, so close, you can end it all. You can run from this misery. You won't have to live like this anymore. You'll be with him.

"You promised me!" I yell so abruptly that I surprise even myself. My scream shatters the silence. "You promised that we would be together!" 

There is no answer. Fresh tears rise into my eyes. I have nothing to live for anymore. I cannot feel the way I felt to him to anyone else. I can't. 

The wind rushes around my body. I fall, down to the ground. The earth gets closer and closer. It's so close.

I wake up screaming. My lungs race for breath. My breathing is harsh. It seemed so real. It was the same as before, but it's longer. I close my eyes trying to regain my control and dignity. The fire is out and the coldness freezes me to the core as if there is no end.

The door bursts open.

~~~~

"Are you all right?" I ask her. She looks clearly distraught and irritated.

"Go away." Her voice is slightly hurt as she curls up in a ball. I catch a few tears rolling down her face.

I walk towards her, almost cautious. My conscious mind warns me against this action, but I brush it aside. I sit down beside her on the bed. 

She ignores me completely.

I turn to look at her. 

Her brown hair flows messily down her back and the sides of her face. The dress she's wearing matches her perfectly. There are a few deep creases and folds in the lush fabric, but money is not a factor. I notice that her skin is a deathly pale. 

I watch a single tear run down her face. Don't give in. Don't give into the innocent routine. Have you learned nothing? I ignore all the warnings and continue to study her. An unknown feeling of pity rests in me. 

I brush a few strands of hair from her face. 

She glances up at me. She looks so innocent. I can almost sense her fear. I can hear her heart fluttering rapidly as she gazes mistily into my own eyes.

With the tips of my fingers, I raise her chin up to me so I can see her a bit better. 

She makes no movement to stop me. 

I wipe away a few drops of water. 

~~~~

I look into his slate gray eyes. I see something there that I've never seen before. There's an extra spark of life behind them. It seems foreign to see such a passion in them. 

My heart flutters at the closeness between us. I feel his light breath. I can hear his heart beating. He radiates warmth, which I crave for at the moment. 

A sudden lust enters my mind, before I can think of anything else, I feel his lips on mine. I'm flown into a world of rapture and affection. He kisses me passionately making me feel lightheaded. Suddenly, it stops as soon as it started. He pushes me away from him and he turns away from me.

Gasping, I look at him in disbelief, not understanding his gesture. "What's wrong with you?" I blurted out before realizing that it didn't come out the way I had meant it to.

"Do you really want to know what's wrong with me?" he snapped back, glaring at me. 

I bite my lip, not knowing how to answer.

"I love you," he says softly. A tinge of regret and hurt can be heard in his voice. He looks at me waiting for my reply.

You can't deny your feelings. You can't run away from them either. Suddenly I think back to the dream. The person I was waiting for was Draco Malfoy. He won't wait around forever or will he…

"There, you have the truth." His voice is gentle and slightly weak, not like the strong, confident one I have grown used to. 

A welcome feeling of relief calms me. My emotions stir in my heart. I bite my lip again and look off at the window.

I feel his eyes scanning me for any sign of a response. I feel pale, wondering what to do. "I love you too," I say meekly. I turn to look at him. 

No emotions taint his face for a few moments. He sits there looking at me, not quite believing his ears. 

"I love you," I repeat again, this time with more confidence. I bite my lip and look at him, uncertain about his reaction. 

He picks up my hand and holds it for a brief moment. "You're cold," he says absentmindedly. 

"I know," I say. This is the first actual conversation I'm having with him. There is a sparkling tense energy between us.

His hand reaches out to touches my face. I look down, not quite wanting to meet his gaze. He leans towards me and kisses me. My eyes flutter close as the passion surrounds me. 

~~~~


	7. Chapter 5: Guilt and Forgiveness

Chapter 5

Guilt and Forgiveness

~~~~

"Hermione?"

"Yes?" I answer, in a considerably light mood.

"Something's changed," Ginny says to me.

I look up from my book and raise an eyebrow at her.

"One, you're reading tastes has changed," she explains, pointing at my book about interpreting dreams. 

"Point being?" I ask, not quite understanding what the problem is.

"Two, your happier. What happened? Did you finally find the man in your fantasies?" she asked with a smile. 

I frown at her questions. "Nothing, so I've changed."

"Isn't that strange?" 

"What is strange?" 

"Never mind," she says exasperated, sinking into defeat.

I sigh. It's still a little early. I check my watch every so often, waiting. Amazing that my life can change so quickly in such a few days, I think gratefully. I discovered that the person I'm in love with loves me. The feeling is light and sensational. I smile lazily as I recall his face.

It's time.

~~~~

The cold air chills me only slightly. I have gotten used to the frigid coldness that has surrounded me for my life. Only a short while ago was I allowed a bit of warmth. I smile at the thought, something I rarely do. 

I hold a single and perfect red rose. A delicate beauty that can cause pain. In this case, it is the thorns. Nothing is perfect in life. There is always a hidden secret, which may lead to your downfall. I've been warned that love is one of the delicate beauties. I've been warned that when you're in love, your decisions aren't the best of the situation. 

I have never experienced love before. They say you should never show your feelings and emotions. They say that they may betray you. I've been wearing this calm, collected, cold mask for a long time, never allowing myself to be free.

I see her walking down the path briskly. She greets me with a hug and a kiss. I present her the gift. She accepts it gracefully.

"I don't like meeting in secret," she says suddenly. Her tone is slightly hurt.

"Neither do I, but we don't have much of a choice," I say, putting an arm around her small figure.

"I know, but sometimes I wish things were different."

~~~~

I hear her screaming at the darkness. I run faster. She stands near the railing. She wears an elegant white gown with small jewels embedded on it. I see the distress on her face. I try to yell at her to stop, but its too late. She falls. I rush near the railing, but it's too late. I'm too late.

I wake up in cold sweat. Normally, I would have tossed the dream aside, but this one has been repeating for days. It always ends the same. I'm always too late. 

I have a sudden urge to see to her well, but I stop. Dreams have nothing to do with reality. They can neither predict the future nor bring us the past. Though disturbing, I clear my mind and close my eyes.

~~~~

It's stopped, but only for a short while. Now, it has begun again. The dreams that have haunted me before haunt me now, this time with intensity increasing at each turn.

I don't dare to go to sleep anymore. I don't dare tell Draco about them, afraid that he'll laugh at me. I close my eyes, but keep my mind active. Suddenly, I open them quickly. Now, every time I close my eyes, I see the dream unraveling it's strings. I can't live like this, I think glumly. Maybe, if I stop seeing him, it'll all go away.

~~~~

I bite my lip, nervously. I've rehearsed this scene many times in my head, but every time, he reacts differently. Damn him for being so unpredictable. 

"What did you want to tell me?" he asks me. There is a look of concern in his eyes, making me feel slightly guilty. 

"I can't see you anymore." I look at him anxiously, waiting for his reply. 

He avoids my gaze and says nothing. The silence settles uncomfortably in the room. I feel the unwanted tension between us. Fear falls deep into me. I begin to worry about my own safety.

"Why?" he asks softly, looking away.

"I just can't," I stutter slightly, surprised by his question. Every time, I've played this in my mind, he has never said that. 

He closes his eyes. "Go."

Staring at him, I wonder what he meant.

"Go!" He says louder. His tone is distressed and aggravated. There is a look of pain on his face.

I'm left with nothing to do. I leave.

~~~~

What were you thinking? Why did you even allow yourself to believe she loved you back? They were right. You should never show your emotions.

I frown bitterly at the thoughts. Closing my eyes, sigh deeply. The good things never last long.

~~~~

I can't go to sleep, not because of the dreams, but because of the guilt. The horrible guilty feeling lingers in me, drowning me, suffocating me, preventing me from being myself. I reply the scene in my mind, repeatedly. Every time, I realize how much more I've hurt him. Every time, I realize how much he loves me… to let me go.

A few tears rise into my eyes. It's your fault. You let the person who loves you more than anything else in the world go because of a repetition of a dream. The stupidity hits me hard belittling me to a small piece of nothing. You've ruined everything, didn't you? 

~~~~

You've let her go. You've let go out of your life. It's because of you, she's gone. I've never allowed my self to feel self-pity because everything was out of my control. Now, I'm wallowing in it. It's my fault that she's gone. 

I can't sleep. I'm not afraid of dreams, but the loneliness engulfs me in its claws of bitterness. You're stupid and pathetic, you know that? You've just ruined your chance to be with the one you love the most. 

~~~~

The moon follows me with my every step. A thin layer of snow rests gently on the cobbled streets like a scene from a fairy tale. The frigid air surrounds me. The stars shine through the crisp darkness of the night -- but the loneliness shatters the silence.

I walk aimlessly down the street. I can't sleep. I feel a few tears drip from my eyes. I don't deserve to wipe them away. You are so blind and naive. You couldn't see how much he loves you. You couldn't sense that he was never loved before. You didn't know that you were the light in his life

I wish I could bring back time. I wish that none of this ever happened. Most of all, I wish I was still with him.

~~~~

The moon haunts me with each step, following me like a silent stalker. I can't escape it. Trapped, trapped in a world of misery and guilt. It used to just be misery until she cam along. Now it's guilt. 

I walk down this street, alone. I shiver slightly as cold, cruel thoughts enter my mind. Don't I deserve a little joy in my life? I never chose this life. I never had the choice. You've had a little joy in your life, but you wasted it. 

I sigh bitterly. I was about to curse, but a familiar figure walks down the street towards me.

~~~~

I stop walking. What is he doing here? My breathing quickens at the unexpected meeting. A sea of emotions overwhelm me with such intensity that I fall down onto the earth, sobbing. I can barely hear a rush of footsteps, but I know he is beside me.

He kneels down, brushing the hair away from my face. He tilts my face to look at him. I feel ashamed to show him my tears. I look at him, pained with my misery and his.

He doesn't seem to be in a much better state than I currently am. His hair is ruffled. His eyes are a dull lonely gray. 

"I'm sorry," I blurt out to him. My conscience is slightly free.

"What do you mean?" he asks me uncertainly.

"I've been having dreams. I thought they would go away if I stopped seeing you," I explained. A few more tears rolls down my face.

I wait for his response like I always do. He says nothing, but embraces me as an act of forgiveness and relief. I remember how it feels to be protected, safe, and yet lost in his arms. 

"I'm sorry too," he whispers, still holding me. 

"What do you mean?" I ask, wondering what he has done.

"I let you go. I shouldn't have." His explanation is short, but ever so meaningful. He looks at me like a forgotten child. 

I smile weakly. I put my arms around his neck and kiss him, thankful.

~~~~


	8. Chapter 6: Change

Chapter 6 

Change

~~~~

"I'm sorry, but I've already made other plans," I reply, sincerely.

He stares at me with disbelief. "What could be more important than spending Christmas with your friends and family?" he snaps.

I frown, biting my lip. I feel guilty, but I can't go back on my promise. "I told you, I've already made plans," I say gathering my things.

"Hermione, you've changed," Ron says to me, realizing that he can't persuade me to go.

I pause for a moment thinking about his words. I smile weakly as a good bye before leaving.

~~~~


	9. Chapter 7: The Naive

Chapter 7

The Naive

~~~~

Christmas, I've never celebrated it before. No lights or a tree decorate the mansion. No mistletoe or stockings hang. I'm thankful that Hermione is spending Christmas with me. I look out the window. The snow piles high on the ground. The wind's chill is frigid. I'm grateful I'm not the one outside. 

I wait for her patiently. I hear footsteps down the hall and turn. She enters the room wearing a long crimson robe with a white cloak on her shoulders. She looks around and smiles. I smile back at her. I walk towards her and kiss her and the forehead. A feeling of happiness swells up in me.

~~~~

"I have something for you," he whispers in my ear.

I smile again, wondering what it could be. I feel like a little girl again, waiting for Christmas morning.

He reaches into his robe and takes out a small velvet box. 

I gasp as the sudden realization hits me. Something every girl is supposed to want… something that I never thought I would have… is mine for the taking.

The moment seems to slow down. His hands open the box, presenting me an expensive ring. The ring is elegant. The band is of two metals intertwined. On closer examination, our names are engraved on the band on each side of the jewels. At the top is a well proportioned, but amazingly beautifully clear diamond. Beside it are two smaller ones, balancing the careful and delicate arrangement.

A feeling of excitement rushes through me as I look at it. I turn my head up to look at him.

"Will you marry me?"

I feel my jaw drop even though I knew. My heart flutters at the thought. I close my eyes and jaw. Together for eternity with the one I love. I can't say anything. I am stunned. Though we've known each other for only a short while, I know we'll be together for a lifetime and possibly many more. 

I open my eyes again at the one I can't imagine life without. "Yes, I will." 

~~~~


	10. Chapter 8: An Unexpected Proposal

Chapter 8

An Unexpected Proposal

~~~~~

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I ask him. 

"Will you," he suddenly stops and looks down at the hand he's holding. He stares down at my left hand. 

I begin to squirm uncomfortably. I haven't told anyone yet about our engagement, yet. 

"Draco and Hermione," Harry reads. His face is expressionless. He glances back up at me. This wasn't expected. His green eyes show a tinge of hurt and betrayal. He lets go of my hand, realizing it wasn't his territory.

A feeling of undeniable guilt arrives. How can I explain this? I haven't lied, but I didn't tell him. Perhaps, I could've prevented his hurt feelings. The low, guilty feeling falls down into my heart, bringing a sense of insecurity with it. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" he says slowly. He avoids my gaze expertly.

"I didn't know how you would react," I say slowly and softly, watching for any sign of an emotion on his pale face. I feel slightly worried at his response. 

"Why him?" he asks.

"I…" I begin, but stop because I don't know the answer. I watch him anxiously to see how he takes this. 

He finally turns to look at me. He's pale. His black hair is ruffled. His eyes, there are no words to describe the dreadful haunted look in his beautiful green eyes. I can tell that he's trying to control his anger and jealousy. "I wish you luck," he says automatically without any enthusiasm. 

I sit here. I watch him stroll slowly away, defeated once again. The sense of loneliness enters me. I have gained a lover, but I've lost a friend. The horrible feeling of guilt lies in me. I've lost my childhood friend. Did I make the right choice?

~~~~


	11. Chapter 9: Diamonds and Friendship: Whic...

Chapter 9

Diamonds and Friendship: Which Lasts Longer?

~~~~

"Do you like it?" he asks me.

I twirl around the mirror. The silky, snowy white fabric swishes around me. The gown is delicately beautiful. It has a low back and a revealing neckline trimmed with rhinestones, small gems, and an intricate lace. The fabric is a light material that seems to float almost magically.

I smile at myself, satisfied with my reflection. I shiver slightly, there are no sleeves therefore exposing my bare shoulders. 

He walks up behind me, putting his arms around my waist. "Do you like it?" he whispers again into my ear.

I nod weakly; the conversation I had with Harry a while ago is still fresh in my mind. 

"What's wrong?" he asks slowly, perhaps wondering if I wanted to ruin what we have built or afraid of what might come between us.

I juggled the question on whether to tell him or not. I can't lie to him. "Harry," he winces at the name, "almost proposed to me a while ago." 

In the reflection of the mirror, I can see a flash of rage and jealousy in his eyes before vanishing into the slate gray. I feel slightly worried.

"But, he realized the engagement ring before continuing. I know you don't like him, but I miss him as a friend," I quickly add, worried about my own emotional and physical well being. Though he is going to be my husband, I still feel I know him as a stranger.

He says nothing, not knowing how to solve my dilemma. He kisses me on my neck. I look at our reflection. It is almost picture perfect, almost.

~~~~

I look at the diamonds at my ring finger on my left hand. I flick my hand back and forth making it catch the light. The serene glow of the two metals under the sun shines with warmth. I discovered later that carved on the inside of it is, "_Together forever for eternity, we cannot be separated._" 

I smile lazily, bathing in the light. I reflect back on what has happened so quickly. The memories bring mostly happy moments. 

"Hermione?"

I glance up to find Ron looking down at me. 

"Can I sit here?" he asks. There is something on his mind.

I nod and make room for him on the wooden park bench. I wonder how he has found me here. I wait calmly for his explanation.

"Harry's pretty torn up," he says slowly. He turns to look at me.

I instinctively lower my gaze, not wanting to meet his eyes. "I know," I say. My voice is dry and raspy as I feel myself getting emotional about the subject.

"But still." 

I look up at him, curious at where he was leading me to.

"Couldn't you have done better than Malfoy? I know he has money, but is he worth marrying for?" he adds slyly. There is a slight smirk on his face.

I stare at him, hardly believing my ears. A surge of anger courses through me like poison. I get up and slap him. "I don't believe you!" I yell at him, angry at his painful words. I turn from him and walk away, mellowing in my disbelief and astonishment.

"I don't know how he's tricked you, but you don't know the real Malfoy!" he retorts back at me.

"And you do?" I yell, without turning. My temper rises. How could he? How dare he? I used to think better of him, but now, I'm not sure. I walk away with an air of loneliness lingering around me. I've lost another.

~~~~

I knock on the cold wood. The rain wets my hair and clothes plastering them to my skin. Please be home, I think to myself. Finally, the door opens. Ginny looks surprised to see me. She makes a gesture to welcome me in. I walk into her home. An instant soothing warmth surrounds me as I take off my wet cloak. 

I take a seat on her couch at the verge of tears. How can I loose and gain so much? My emotions tumble within me as she enters the room with a tray of steaming hot chocolate. She hands me a cup and sits down beside me.

"Hermione," she says, "What happened?" There's a familiar look of concern that makes me feel almost guilty for making her feel so.

"I've been in a fight with Harry and Ron," I say slowly, afraid that if I blurt everything out, I'll make a regrettable mistake.

"Over what?" she asks with a comforting smile on her face. 

"I'm engaged." I stop talking, waiting for her reaction.

"To whom?" Her voice is curious. Now she knows that it's the engagement that has caused all this havoc. 

I bite my lip. I'm slightly reluctant to tell her. I'm worried about her reaction. I can't loose anymore friends. "Draco Malfoy."

I watch as her jaw drops. Her eyes are wide with surprise. "The Draco Malfoy?" she repeats, stumbling from one word to the next, wondering if she's heard right.

I nod, looking down at the mug of brown liquid, extremely intimidated by my envisioned reaction.

She makes no reply for a long time. I look up at her.

"Do you love him?" she asks earnestly. 

I nod. "With all my life." 

"Does he love you back?" she asks again. 

I nod again, wondering about her rather odd questions.

Suddenly, she smiles and sets her mug down, giving me a hug. "I'm happy for you then." 

I look at her stunned and shocked, at her reply and reaction. "You are?" 

"Yes, I am. He may not have the greatest reputation, but as long as he treats you well and you both love each other, I'm happy and grateful," she says firmly. She gives me another sincere smile. "Don't worry about what people say, if you do you'll have only yourself to blame," she says softly. 

I smile for the first time in a long time. A sense of security rests inside of me now that I have a supporter. "Thank you."

~~~~


	12. Chapter 10 The Malfoy Name

Chapter 10

The Malfoy Name

~~~~

_I'm here, I wanted to say, but no sound comes from my mouth. I walk near her. I place my hand on her shoulder, but it goes through. I look down at my form. I'm like a faint white wisp of nothing. _

_"We're supposed to get married today. You promised me," she says with liquid drops of tears streaming down her pale face._

_I try again, I'm here, but nothing can be heard. _

_"This is supposed to be our day," she says. _

_It's useless to try to talk. I reach my hand out. It passes through her like smoke. The helplessness of the situation is frustrating. I love you. That will never change. Please understand. I look at her. She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve the pain. _

_I watch her as she turns. For a single moment, I think she knows I'm here, but the look of pure pain on her face tells me otherwise. She looks up at the ceiling. I see her mouth the words, why me? Why us?_I awake from my nightmare, grasping the sheets. My jagged breathing confirms that my nightmare wasn't reality. The soft breathing beside me helps assure me as well. I close my eyes and take a deep breath trying to recover. What does it mean?

~~~~

"_Don't ruin the Malfoy name, for that may be all you have left one day_." I frown at my late father's words. The last sentence I've heard him utter from his lips on his deathbed. Not many people know he is dead. His funeral was kept a secret. 

Our line has been pure for centuries. What would my ancestors say when they have heard I've married near common blood? Our name has been valued for its purity in the blood and the wealth in the gold and property. What will happen to our name now?

I sigh bitterly as I sit in front of the roaring fire. I haven't thought of any of the consequences before proposing. I've heard stories about those who have tried to cross the line. All of their lives have ended before marriage. 

My father died young. He has told me a few years early that _all_ Malfoys die young. "_We live as long as we need to. We die, only when our heir is able to continue the tradition_." I wince as his words run through my mind. 

I have never chosen to live this life. Do I not get a chance to choose whom I can marry?

~~~~

The rain falls. A few drops drip down the glass of the window. A dull gloominess looms outside. Instead of the intended white, I wear black. This isn't supposed to happen. This is supposed to be our day. It's supposed to be happy, not like this. A few tears drip down my face. This can't be happening, not today. 

He looks so still, so pale, so lifeless. He looks at peace, lying there in the soft padded wooden casket.

"We were supposed to get married today," I whisper softly to him, a part of me knowing he can't hear my words. "You promised me."

I wait, as though waiting for a reply. Nothing, but the hollering of the wind answers me. 

"This is supposed to be our day," I add. I bite my lip, trying to stop the oncoming tears that blur my vision. 

The candles in the room produce an eerie yellow glow, casting empty shadows on objects. The room is cold, despite the burning fire in the fireplace. An awful frigid feeling sinks into me. Suddenly, I feel an odd sense of warmth on top of coldness. 

I turn around, expecting him to be there. He's not there. I'm alone. I'm alone in the cold, cruel world. I look up. Why me?

I wake, gasping for breath, Draco. The empty space besides me worries me. I touch my face, brushing away the tears. I bite my lip uncomfortably. I wish with all my life that he's okay.

~~~~

****

The moon shines down on us with such serenity. The light casts a mystical bluish yellow glow on objects. The shadows stretch out at me while I walk down the steps. 

I finally see him. He turns around. He's there, smiling. He takes my hand and kisses it gently. My dress ruffles around my ankles as he leads us into a dance. Our dance is slow, but touching. He holds me close as though I'm the only one left in the world. I lay my head against his chest. 

"I love you," he whispers in my ear. His voice is as soft as the wind around us.

"I love you too," I say slowly back to him. 

He backs away slightly to get a better look at me. His eyes are black, reflecting only the dark shadows. In them, I can still see the warmth only reserved for me. He brushes a strand of brown hair behind me face, smiling. 

I close my eyes. Warmth surrounds me. I feel his kiss on my lips, soft and gently. I kiss him back. I open my eyes again. He embraces me. I'm thankful for the warm affection he's showing. I love you so much.

I wake up. The sudden, yet cruel reality hits me. He's gone. It was only a dream. I feel a few tears drip down my face. I miss you so much. The world is so brutal, taking away the loved and leaving the distressed and hopeless. I wish I could be where you are.

I scream. I touch my arms. This is my reality. This is not a nightmare. I take in a deep breath. The various emotions the dream brings anxiety. I feel a few cold drops of tears run down my eyes. What is happening?

~~~~

I hear a horrible scream coming from her room. I rush down the halls. I stop at the door to her room. My hands touch the cold metal doorknob, wondering whether to open it or not. The curiosity is too much. I open the door.

~~~~

I turn at the sound, Draco. 

"Hermione?" I hear his voice call out my name. It's slightly uncertain for the room is dark.

"Draco?" I ask, wondering if I want to know the answer.

I hear a few muffled footsteps. He sits down beside me. He puts his arms around me and holds me tightly as though to try to prove that I am here. "Are you all right?" 

I nod. I'm clearly shaken, but I'm not physically harmed. I take in a deep breath. 

"Thank the Heavens," he mutters to himself.

"Draco," I begin, feeling slightly timid.

"Yes?" 

"I've been having," I bite my lip, but continue, "nightmares. I've had one when you were, dead. I've had another just tonight. We were dancing, but I woke up in my dream. There I realized that it was another dream and you were gone. Then I just woke up."

"Interlacing dreams," he states.

I nod slowly, pretending to understand. My tears stop, now that he's here with me. "Do you know what this means?"

"I have only a theory," he starts. His voice is confident. "My father is dead."

I quickly gasp. I've never known. I'd never would've thought.

"Not many people know about his death," he adds in quickly. "He died young from slightly unnatural reasons."

"What do you mean by that?" I ask, wondering why his death has something to do with my dreams.

"For generations, all true blooded Malfoys died young. Their ages may very slightly, but it's around the same time. They've died because their pure blooded heir was old enough to be left the property, wealth, and traditions," he says calmly.

What does this mean? He'll die before he'll see grandchildren? I frown slightly at the unpleasant thought.

"Our family is valued for that, which is why we marry others similar to us." 

"Aren't there ones who went against tradition?" I ask him, wondering about our undecided fate.

"Yes." His voice breaks. "They've died before they were married."

I freeze, biting my lip. Draco, I don't want him to die. 

"But, since I'm the last of my family. I'm not sure whether it'll strike us." His words are comforting, but his tone contradicts his statement.

I understand the meaning of the nightmares now. They're a warning, in a matter of speaking. Marriage is a wonderful thing, but losing Draco over it? I wouldn't dare risk it. "Let's not get married," I say abruptly.

I turn to look at his reaction. In the dim moonlight, I see him raise an eyebrow. "I will _have_ to marry at one point or another. The question is to whom."

A grim feeling sinks in. I close my eyes. "We'll have an affair." I open my eyes.

He looks at me with a slightly amused expression. 

"Did I just say that out loud?" I ask, mortified. 

He nods, without removing the trademark smirk from his face.

I groan softly. The embarrassment sinks in. 

"Besides, no lips of mine will touch another woman's."

~~~~


	13. Chapter 11: Death

Chapter 11

Death

~~~~

_"Death is what makes us alive," it reads on the gray granite. I kneel down, tracing the name, "Draco Malfoy," with my finger. A few tears roll down my face. I place a small bunch of flowers down before the headstone. I stand up, picking up the wilted ones. I give one last glance at it, before walking away._

_I walk down the path, holding the old flowers in one hand. "Horrible, stubborn person, you were, weren't you Draco?" I mutter to the towering trees. "Couldn't make do with less than perfection?" _

_I stop as though waiting for a witty remark. No one answers me._

_"I hate you!" I scream at the top of my lungs, tears welling up in my eyes. "Now what am I supposed to do? You know I can't love another man! How could you do this to me! I thought you loved me!" I yell. My throat burns and breathing is uneven as a steady stream of tears pour down. _

_I fall down to the ground. My misery overwhelms me to the point of exhaustion and insanity. I reflect back to the night he died._

_"Don't die on me."_

_He looks at me with slate gray eyes. He's so pale, so calm. "I guess I was wrong," he says softly, smirking with such fragility. _

_I nod, unable to control the tears. I quickly blink them away, not wanting them to blur my vision. I hold his cold hand._

_He doesn't seem to be in pain, but death is inevitably dawning on him. He closes his eyes._

_Don't close them. Open them, don't die, yet, please don't. We have so much to do._

_He opens them and looks at me with such intensity. "Death is what makes us alive," he whispers as though he can read my thoughts. He looks at me one last time, before closing his eyes forevermore. His last breath is calm and steady because death pulls him away slowly, taking the time to torture and comfort me at the same time. His hand goes limp. He is gone._

_This is what you've reduced me to, Draco, a piece of insane flesh. I wallow in my misery and self-pity. An odd warmth sinks into me, the same warmth I've felt a few times before. _

_I stand up and whirl around. "Draco! Are you there?" _

_No one answers. I see nobody. I see nothing, but the woodland scenery that surrounds me. There is no white outline proving to me that he is a ghost. There is nothing. _

_I bite my lip, tears falling. I kneel down onto the pine-covered ground. I look up at the bright light coming from the tops of green. I look away; the brightness is too much. I look down at my hands. _

_The ring is still there, exactly in the same state as the first day. I glance down at the names, "Draco" and "Hermione", wincing. I run my fingers over the hard diamonds and the smooth metals. The words engraved on the bottom are still there, though I've been reluctant to take it off. It doesn't matter, I remember it well. In a graceful, slanted lettering is written, "Together forever for eternity, we cannot be separated." _

_I wear my engagement ring as though we'll be together one day. I wear it as a promise. The only question is whether he fulfilled his. _I wake up shivering. I feel the partially dried tears on my face. His warm body besides me confirms that he is well. I close my eyes, shaking away the images.

~~~~

I have only seen my mother only a few times after my father's death. When I did see her, she would give me a dark piercing glance before walking away. In my father's will, everything was left to me. Nothing was left to my mother. That was tradition, in which all the property and wealth goes to the heir. 

In a way, I understand her coldness towards me. I do not miss her presence for she ignored me as much as possible while I was growing up -- but I do miss the motherly figure I've never had.

I stare off into the flickering fire. The bitter coldness surrounds me. _You can't escape destiny._ I wince as the saying flashes through my mind. What is my destiny?

~~~~

I tremble slightly as the wind's chill passes by me. I brush my wavy hair away from my face. I sigh contented as I sit on the park bench. I come here to this small park when I need to take a well-deserved break from the world around me. 

I watch the groups of children play in the white snow. They look so happy, free, innocent. They don't have any worries or troubles. I look at them sadly and longingly, wondering if Draco will be alive to see any of ours. 

I look away, quickly blinking away the blinding tears. My breathing is sharp as it takes in the frigid air. The coldness that touches my skin makes it raw. The ring on my finger is like a bitter cold Hell, weighing it down with a metaphorical block of ice. The bitter irony is almost enough to make me laugh, almost.

My dreams are worse now. I've become an insane lunatic in them, complaining about the cruel world because I've lost my love. I frown harshly. I don't want to be like that. I want to have a long life to live, and I want to live every moment with him. 

I stand up, not wanting to be in the severe arctic weather. In the distance, I hear my name being called. I'm too irritated to bother to see who's the speaker. I stand up and walk slowly down the path, cautious about the ice that is glazed over it. I hear footsteps behind me. I feel a hand on my shoulder.

Turning around, I see that it is Harry. Stunned, I wait for him to explain himself. 

"Hermione?" 

I look up into those emerald green eyes of his, but I stay silent. I tremble under his gaze.

"I'm sorry." I hear his voice waver slightly. 

I look down at the snow covered ground. I don't him to see my face.

"Ginny told me about you and Malfoy. I really hope your marriage turn out well," he says gently. 

I fall suddenly, whether because of the ice or the emotions, I am not sure.

He catches me, trying to steady me.

"I'm so worried," I begin, biting my lip as a few tears falls. I lean against him. 

He gingerly puts his arms around me, wondering whether this is considered crossing the thin dimly marked line.

"We aren't supposed to get married, because of it, Draco might die," I explain quickly, sniffling slightly.

He guides me over to a nearby park bench. 

I sit down, brushing the tears away from my eyes. I look at him, wondering about his reaction. I need comfort that one can only get from a close friend.

"What do you mean he might die?" he asks cautiously. 

I feel slightly reluctant to tell him, but the pressures are too much for me to bear alone. "Malfoys aren't supposed marry people like me," I say slowly. I feel a drop trickle down my cheek. "You can call it a curse that runs in the family, for every Malfoy who has crossed the thin line…" I pause, pondering whether to go on or not. "They've died before marriage," I say softly.

He looks at me thoughtfully, not knowing how to respond.

I take in a deep breath of cold air. "But, he's the last of the Malfoys, so that may not effect him. Even then, he'll probably never live to see his grandchildren." My voice is slightly airy as I confess to him what has been on my mind for such a long time.

"What do you mean?" he asks, slowly. His eyes stare at me intensely.

"Lucius is dead," I start. "All of them die when their heir is old enough to continue the… tradition." I look at him. I'm slightly nervous about his response, but Harry isn't known for his temper. 

"I…" He pauses and looks at me. "I think you should do what you know is right."

I look down. He gave me the response that assures that whatever the consequences are, the fault wouldn't be blamed on him. This brings my burden back on me. I have told one of my best friends what is on my mind. I am back to where I started, except I have gained one of my friends back.

~~~~

Alone in the world, that is where I stand. I take in a deep breath. The moon above me glows with an eerie brilliance. The stars are small spots of yellow that shine weakly. I hear the roaring of the ocean waves below me. The wind chills me to the bone, but oddly enough, I do not shiver.

The heavy stones and metals weigh my hand down. I feel the dress I was supposed to wear for my wedding, rustle around me. The delicate lace veil I wear in my hair flows freely. 

I stand on the edge of the rocky cliff that overlooks the vicious and unforgiving sea. It is bright enough to allow me to see the glistening waves lapping against the hard surface of the rock. I look out at the grand sea of midnight blue. 

"Why did you leave me?" I whisper. 

Only the rushing wind around me responds with its lonely holler.

"See what you have done to me?" I say softly. I smile weakly. "You've driven me to the point of near insanity." 

The familiar odd feeling of warmth surrounds me. A single tear falls down my face. 

"Draco?" My voice is trembling. "Is that you?" 

Instead of the warmth weakening, it gets slightly stronger. 

I close my eyes. "I want to be where you are. I don't want to be alone anymore," I whisper, a few more tears drip down my face.

I wait, almost expecting a response. I look down. Why won't you answer me? 

"Hermione." 

I turn at the sound of my name. I see a faint white shadow of him. The stone beneath me crumbles and I fall. I feel the wind rushing past me. I close my eyes tightly. I don't want to see anymore. I want his face to be imprinted in my mind forever. 

~

I open my eyes. I look down at my body. I can see through it. I'm like a faint wisp of smoke with a distinctive form. I look around. I've been here before, I think as I look over the edge of the rock. I see an ocean of black. A memory sparks to life in me. I died here.

"Having fun?" I hear a familiar amused voice behind me say. 

I turn suddenly. I can feel the rock slipping below me. Not this again. I start to fall. This time, someone's arms catches me. I gasp, but it feels as though I have no need for air.

I turn around. My jaw drops as I see the familiar face, Draco. I stare at him blankly. He is like me, a mist of nothingness. I open my mouth to say something, but no words come out.

I watch him intently as he gives me his trademarked smirk. 

I have been mourning his death for so long. I have been driven to insanity and suicide just to be with him. Now that he's here… I know that I have embellished on the past. 

I open my eyes and stare up at the darkness. The dreams or nightmares, depending on what you call them, are getting more extreme and intense. I take in a deep breath, calming my knotted and sensitive nerves. 

The meaning of the dream was cryptic, but it was coherent enough to allow me to realize it. The dream itself was reminding me of the possible fate we may have together. It was also reminding me that I might be making the wrong choice.

~~~~

True love never dies, I think to myself, running my fingers through my blonde hair. I frown at the words. Even the most deathless love wears out. 

~~~~

"_Never fall in love_." The words play in my mind. A long time ago, my father said that line. He never allowed himself to be complicated with emotions. He didn't marry for love. That was as clear as glass. He married for his social standing and other things that were considered a value to him.

A sense of self-pity lingers in me, along with that horrible settling feeling that depresses me slightly. I feel guilty of the uncertain fate before me. I cannot bear the burden of guilt if something happened, to her. I would rather have her hate me, but alive, than to have her love me with her last breath. I would not be able to bear it. 

I turn my head suddenly, looking down at the red carpeting. My weakness and confusion disgust me. Draco Malfoy, you were always a hopeless romantic weren't you? I grimace, unsatisfied by my thoughts. I stare, not daring to blink, into the fiery flame of a small white candle. Looking at it, I notice that it is nearing its end. I feel a sudden brush of a chill sweep around me, tousling my hair. 

The candle blows out.

~~~~


	14. Chapter 12: Mountains in the Path

Chapter 12 

Mountains in the Path

~~~~

I shudder, feeling the wintry coldness surrounding me. I pull the covers closer to me, huddling into a small ball. I look up at the dark overlooking ceiling. 

I am almost afraid to close my eyes. Stop being so silly, I think to myself. You're fretting over a bunch of nightmares. They were convincing ones, though. Dreams still, you don't believe them do you? I ponder the thought for a brief moment. I leave the question unanswered in my mind. Not wanting to concentrate on anything else, I glance out the window.

The moon is a thin sliver of white contrasting on a bluish black background. The outline of the branches from a few nearby trees interrupts the carefully organized view. The night seems to be clear, for the shapes stand out brilliantly against each other. 

I sigh bitterly, leaning on one side. Every few moments, my eyes dart to the clock on my bedside table. It's getting late. I stare intensely at the scene outside of my room.

It is like a perfectly framed picture, drawn by a steady hand and guided by an experienced eye. The pure beauty of it is suddenly ruined. A large gray cloud moves in front of the moon, ever so slowly. I wish silently that it would leave, but instead it insists on blocking out the smooth stream of white from the moon. A misty fog covers and hugs the glass on my window.

Stubborn imbecile. 

~~~~

Alone. The stinging coldness snips at me. I'm running, running through the misty fog. It surrounds me. The clouds of white suffocate me with fear of the unknown. I can hardly see a few feet in front of me. 

I stretch my arms out as if reaching out to an unknown person or thing. Nothing, but wisps of white, enter my hands. I feel a gust of wind behind me. A haunting sensation tickles the back of my neck and shoulders. 

I turn around. There is nothing, but more of the whitish mist. I begin to run, from what, it is uncertain and undecided. I keep running. The wind brushes past my face, flinging my hair back. 

I'm looking for something. I don't know what I'm looking for, but I am looking for it. For how long or whether I'll even find what I'm looking for, is a few of many unanswered questions. 

I sit up suddenly. My heart beats rapidly as I gasp for air. The dream was disturbing, but so metaphorical. My mind races as I try to solve the true meaning of it, other than the obvious. I sit here alone, staring out into the empty darkness, carrying my burden alone.

~~~~~

I wince slightly as I step out into the bright sunlight. The snow reflects it with a brilliant, but blinding constant stream shining white. I place my steps carefully for the ice glistens, covering the still ground. 

The cold bitter wind blows against my skin, stinging it. The frigid winter air settles uncomfortably around me, crowding me with a sense of tainted loneliness. The sun shines merrily on me, as though nothing could be ruined. 

I shudder as the thought of the dreams, no nightmares, I had last night, race through my mind. I scowl. I feel a lump rise up in my throat as the memories rise. I take in a breath of cold air, feeling it run through my lungs before exiting out with a wisp. 

I walk. I walk down the path with no particular goal in my mind. I need to get away. No, I have to get away. I keep walking, not realizing where I'm going, not caring much either. 

Thoughts and memories are viewed in my mind like a slide show. My life has changed so dramatically in such a short amount of time. I have found love, or is it love? I shake the thought away, brushing it aside to a small pile of them, but it comes back, haunting me with more vigilance. 

Are you sure you're in love with him? You have only known him for a short period of time. Are you willing to give up everything and anything to be with him? Is he worth it? Do you deserve it? Can you risk it? Will you allow yourself to risk it? How do you know that he loves you back? How do you know that it isn't a plan to get closer to Harry? Can you really risk betrayal of the friendship you have built for so long for someone who claims to love you, someone who you don't know that well? Well, can you? 

I scream. 

~~~~

I hear a sudden and abrupt anguished scream. It rings through the forest, shattering the peacefully cold silence. My mind slowly registers the familiarity of it, Hermione.

~~~~

I feel myself falling onto the snow-covered ground, slipping only slightly. It is so cold. No tears fall, I have cried too much in the last few nights to have any left. It is so quiet. Get a hold of yourself, Hermione. No one is here to help you now. 

I bite my lip, looking up and around at my surroundings. Tall, overgrown, pine trees tower above and over me. Where am I? I am lost. I let the words sink slowly in; my mind is numb from the cold and the fall. It's your fault and you know it. You should have watched where you were going. 

I groan, whining because of the small derogatory rational voice in my mind. I struggle to get up. Finally, after a few unsuccessful attempts, I manage to stand. I turn my head, looking down one end of the path before turning and looking down at the other. There are no footprints for me to follow back home. 

I look up at the grayish cloud streaked sky. White bits of snow falls down onto me, covering me, surrounding me, confining me. I feel the small cold pieces rest on my skin, before disappearing into small tear like small water droplets. 

I lower my view, glancing around. Everywhere looks the same. Why can't I remember anything? I fall down back onto the cold ground, distressed and defeated. Looking down at the snow on the ground, I clear my mind from everything. I sit here for a long undetermined amount of time.

~

"Hermione!" 

I hear something, but nothing seems to register in my mind. It is too cold.

"Hermione!"

Something familiar sparks up in my mind. I try to concentrate on it, but I don't seem to remember. 

"Hermione!"

That is my name. Who would be calling me in the middle of the forest? 

"Hermione!" 

A dark shadow falls across me. I raise my head slowly and instinctively. I see a pale face with extremely light blonde hair. I shiver slightly. I know him, but I can't seem to place his name or how he is related to me.

"Hermione?" His voice is soft, but questioning. 

"Where am I?" My voice seems so far off, as though the words are not my own.

The figure kneels down and lifts my chin up, as though examining me. 

"You're out in the forest," he says calmly. "Hermione? Are you okay?" His words seem to echo in my mind. 

I nod weakly, finally remembering who he is. The realization was slightly comforting. At least I am not talking to a complete stranger. 

"Can you get up?" His tone muddled with concern. 

I quickly nod and put my hand on his shoulder to steady myself. I begin to stand, but I fall back down, my legs, unable to support myself. I hear a distinct sigh, before finding myself lifted and carried away. I relax and lay my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes.

~~~~

"Do you feel better now?"

I nod weakly. Though I am still shivering, I am not outside in the arctic cold. I draw the quilt around me, closer, feeling the warmth from the fire smothering me with its welcome glow. I close my eyes, allowing it to soothe me.

"What were you doing out there in the forest?" His voice is slightly stern, but the concern in his eyes tells me otherwise from the obvious.

"I don't remember very clearly. I found myself in the middle of a snow covered path with towering trees on the sides," I explain slowly, trying to remember, but my attempts were rather futile.

He sighs, as though my answer was the one he was expecting all along.

"Be more careful next time, I may not always be there," he cautions. His words are disturbing, though they mean for the better, but it brings up a sense of insecurity and nervousness.

"Don't say things like that," I say softly, tilting my head away from his eyes.

"We can't pretend that everything is fine either," he replies. There is a tint of resent in his tone and voice. 

I close my eyes tightly, shutting myself away from the world for a brief moment. I don't want to think about the possibility, though it gnaws at me everyday and night. Everything is almost perfect, I don't want it all to be ruined.

"Let's not think about the future," he whispers softly.

I turn to look at him. Curiosity gets the better of me.

"What will happen, will happen and there is nothing we can do about it. What we can do, is to see how we spend the present." His voice is cold and his gray eyes stare at me through the stray strands of blonde hair. 

He is right. We have no control on what happens in the future, but we do have the power to influence the present. 

~~~~


	15. Chapter 13: The Last Sign

Chapter 13

The Last Sign

~~~~

"Draco?" 

I look up at the sound of my name, slightly alarmed by the distress in her voice.

"I don't feel so well." She collapses limply onto the crimson carpet.

I bite my lip, as I rush over and pick her up gently. Her eyes are closed as though in a peaceful and dreamlike sleep. Don't do this to me. 

I knew it would come, but not like this. I didn't think the fates would be so cruel. I was wrong.

As I bring her over to a bedroom, I say a short prayer, praying to anyone, anything, who happens to hear my pained distress.

I lay her down gently down on the bed, softening her head with a nearby pillow. 

I look down on her. She seems so pale. Don't think about that. Don't allow yourself to think about that. She needs your strength. Don't show your weakness. Do you remember nothing you have been taught?

I brush a few strands of wavy brown hair away from her eyes. They manage flicker open and they look at me with a misted expression. 

"Are you okay?" I ask softly.

"I feel so weak." Her voice is almost a whisper as she makes out the words. A pang of guilt settles down in me. Don't leave me, not now, not ever.

She opens her mouth to say something else, but I hush her and comfort her with, "Everything will be all right." 

Though she gives me a look of disbelief, she closes her eyes. 

~~~~

I wanted to say, "Fight, please, fight for me, for everything we could have together," but I couldn't. I wanted to tell her that, "We'll be together always," but I wouldn't allow myself. I wanted to lie to her, but I wouldn't be able to bear the burden. 

What will happen, will happen.

She doesn't deserve to leave the world with pain, with the struggle on her face, as death takes her away, no, I wouldn't allow it. I deserve that pain. I deserve that struggle. I don't deserve her. She doesn't deserve me.

She deserves to go without any pain. She should go peacefully, savoring the last moments. 

I couldn't tell her that we would be together for all time. I didn't even know it was possible, despite the words I've said long ago. She doesn't deserve to be lied to, even for comfort. 

I look away from her. I can't take it. Every breath, I feel the shameful satisfaction of her being mine, for one more moment. I want to hold her tightly. I want to feel that last breath, but I wouldn't allow it. The very beating of my own heart, gives me a frigid coldness of guilt.

She's struggling for me. She doesn't want her to go. She doesn't want to though. I wanted to scream, "Don't, I'm not worth it," but I couldn't. Every weak breath she takes in and lets out pains me to the core, as though it were my own. I wanted to say, "Don't do this to me," but I knew I couldn't bother her with my heavy conscience. 

"Draco?" I hear her wavering voice behind me. The light rasp in it makes me cringe.

I turn, not wanting to, but I have to, I should. She looks so peaceful, except for that pained expression I placed on her face. I wish with the world that I could take it away, but I'm too much of a coward to ask. I except a cruel, blaming comment.

"Hold me." I might have felt better if she had. 

I sit down on the bed, beside her, bringing her close to me. I pull the covers around her, keeping the warmth in. I hold her tightly. Her skin is cold to the touch. 

She lays her head on my shoulder. Don't, please don't, don't torture me so. With her in that position, I can hear every single breath getting weakened by death itself. The sound alone will haunt me to the last of my days. 

I look down at her. She doesn't deserve my coldness. 

Her eager eyes stare up at me. She looks at me as though I am a saint. She opens her mouth to say something, but closes it from the frustrating weakness. 

I tighten my hold on her, not wanting her to slip away. 

She gives me one last look, before closing her eyes. I feel the blood pulsing weakly in her. She takes one last breath and lets it out ever so slowly. Her heart stops beating. 

She is gone. 

~~~~~

The bitter rain pours down, without a hint of stopping. It is as though the weather agrees with the despondent mood surrounding me. 

I stand here, alone. There is no one here who would dare comfort me. No one cares about the lone man who stands far from the group. No one cares about the isolated and lonely one without any friends. 

The atmosphere here is utterly depressing. Everyone is dressed in the mournful black. They're huddled together, categorized by friends, under large black umbrellas. I can see little of what is happening from where I stand, but it doesn't matter. Nothing does anymore.

Time passes on as I wallow alone in my emptiness. I do not allow myself to feel any emotions. I am too afraid of the effect. I'll reflect, when I can, but not now. I wouldn't be able to take it if I did.

She doesn't belong under the cold soil, alone. She shouldn't be trapped in the horrid darkness far from the sunshine. 

It is your fault she'll have to be down there. Stop, don't rub it in. You know it is your fault. Your stubbornness has led to her downfall. I know. Then why don't you face the truth, like you have been taught. I don't want to. Is that enough of a reason? 

Why won't you allow yourself to show your emotions like everyone else here? It shows weakness. If you don't, they'll view you as a cold, ungrateful jerk forever. They will curse your every memory. I know. I like the solitude. It is cold and unforgiving. You are doing this because you feel like you should. No, I am doing this because I deserve to.

~~~~~

The once full crowd slowly disperses away. I wait. I wait until the last of them is gone, far away. Finally, the cemetery is empty, except for myself.

I stand here for a few moments, as though honoring the unforgivable silence, before taking my turn in front of the grave. 

Cold and wet by the falling rain, stands a pink granite headstone. On it, is carved in graceful elegant letters, "Hermione Granger." 

I kneel down to get a closer look. My fingers trace the name. Her name shouldn't be here. This is supposed to be my grave, not hers. 

From the inside of my cloak, I take out a flower. It is a single rose. It is perfect and delicate like the one I gave to her before. I set it down gently on top of the rest of the flowers gathered at the base. It stands out, contrasting against the soft pastel colors. 

It is black.

Black like death itself. Black like the emotions that are felt towards me. Black like the emptiness in my life. Black is a solitary color, empty, cold, and alone.

I look weakly at the stone, as to confess something, but I don't. She shouldn't be bothered by my conscience's unrest, even in death. I stand up, giving it one last glance, before walking away. 

I cannot even explain how hard it was for me to walk away. It was as though I was walking away from a part of myself. A part that I couldn't possibly live without, but still, I walked away.

~~~~

Cold, cruel and bitter is fate. 

When she died, she took a large part of me with her to the grave. No one ever loved me, except her. Now, she is gone forever, buried under the ground far away from her loved ones, the ones who loved her. Her death was my fault. It was a consequence of my foolish stubbornness and my naïve personality. 

How do you feel now? I frown as the horrible rational voice in my head asks yet another self-degrading question. It is not worth it. You do not have to. You think you do because you feel guilty. You shouldn't feel guilty. Is your life worth this little to you? 

I shake my head, hoping to knock out the questioning voice. I fumble with the small glass in my hand, examining it in disgust at the silvery liquid that flows inside. 

Do you dare to? I have nothing left to live for. Is that enough to take your life away, just because you don't have a particular goal? I can't live with myself. It is irreversible. I know. Once you give it up, you cannot take it back. 

I know. 

~~~~


	16. Epilogue: Closure

Epilogue

Closure

~~~~

Below a great oak tree stands two stone pieces. If one would examine them closely, you would see that the weather and time has aged them. One of the pieces is of a light pink granite. The other is made of a similar gray granite structure. 

Once, long ago, there was words or perhaps names carved onto these stone slabs. Now, the once elegant characters are worn away to become one with the rest.

At the base of these two stones grows a large silvery bush. The thorns of this plant are enough to keep everyone and anyone away from picking the blossoms, but still, they come and visit this place to view the plant and to relive the tale.

Every year, in the winter at the exact same time as it always has been before, grows only two rose blossoms. First, a delicate red one appears, before being followed by a harsher black rose. The time between the two is only a few days apart. Both are vivid and beautiful in their own color.

The two stems are intertwined and locked together. The stem of the red one is oddly deprived of thorns, but the black one is not, as to protect the slightly smaller flower. The branches of the bush are actually of a pale white color, but it is coated with a silver-like gleam. The flowers are encircled by the greater protection of the branches. 

The oak tree that towers above the scene below has not always been here, but that was long ago, far before the memory of those who exist today. The years clearly show on the characteristics of the tree. The bark is black, said be to be like that because of a lightning bolt from a thunderstorm years earlier. Deep grooves and scratches present the surface with great age.

A long time ago, an unknown writer was the first to stumble upon this now sacred place. Back then, this scene stood on a hill overlooking a clear valley like plain. To see that this was still standing here, when most of the others have gone, must have been quite a surprise.

This writer, claimed to have been inspired by an unknown force, wrote down on parchment on how this came to be. His words and thoughts are now famous and passed down the generations. 

The story is that long ago a man with great social standing and wealth fell in love with a simple peasant. A curse brought down the peasant woman first, before the man brought himself to his own death. The woman was buried days before. The man hadn't been well liked and was thought to have been the cause of her death, but a dear friend of the woman's managed to convince the rest to bury him next to his lover.

The red rose is said to be like the flower he gave to her a while after the beginning of the relationship though it is without thorns. The black rose is said to have been like the flower given by the man to the base of the headstone of the woman's. Popular belief also says that the red rose represents the innocent and loving peasant. The black one is said to represent the cold harshness of the man, who was finally softened in the end.

The white branches are the sign of the frigid loneliness; he had experienced after her death. The silver on them shows the poison he had drunk in order to be with his love. The branches themselves also represent the pain experienced by the young couple in order to keep their love alive although the consequences were harsh. The position of them protecting the more delicate ones on the inside is also metaphorical.

The love between them was strong enough to unite them even in death. 

Now, young hopeful couples visit this place for good luck and happiness in their marriage. They relive the famous story to remember the pain one couple went through before them. 

It is also said that there is a way to test the love between to couples. If the two people truly love each other, then the two roses will fall at the mercy of them. If the couple does not have the endless love between them, then nothing would happen. No one so far has been able to claim ownership of the two famous roses, yet.

~~~~

A young woman with wavy brown hair climbs up the path. A man with blonde hair follows up behind her. Though it is raining and snow covers the path, they seem especially happy. They have been warned that the test has been known to break up relationships, but the opportunity to declare their true love for each other surpasses anything else.

Finally, they come upon what they have been waiting long for. The towering tree greets them as they make their way up the last few steps. They stop and stand, quite a distance from the flowers, to present their respect. Thoughts of the story, creeps into both of their minds as they prepare themselves for the final moment. 

The man holds the woman close as they make their way to the flowers. They hold their breath as they stand before the bush. A sudden silence falls onto them as they wait to be judged. 

At last, the legendary roses fall. 

~~~~


End file.
